Cover art by Jay Aheer of Simpley Defined Art

Cover art by Jay Aheer of Simpley Defined Art


Liam McGuire has the perfect life–his job is a nightmare, his apartment was swank back in the eighties, and he has a secret so painful it could destroy him. What can top that? Meeting his son’s new boyfriend, that’s what.

For former porn star Liam McGuire, life is pretty tame, except that his twenty-one year old son is now dating the love of Liam’s life. At the ripe old age of thirty-eight, Liam’s entire world is collapsing around him, his past catching up with him, his secrets and his lies are coming back to bite him. All because Kel had to go and fall in love with Seth.

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Chapter One

Kelton went from single to in a relationship.
This piqued my interest. Last I'd heard, Kel was reeling from a bad break-up with his high school sweetheart. Not that I made it a habit to stalk Kel’s Facebook page. I stopped in once or twice a week to see what's going on with old friends and to say hi to distant friends or my sister. I generally left Kel alone.
Online. In real life, I preferred to keep up with my only kid by phone and the occasional meet-up now that he is an adult. Back when he was a kid, we did weekends twice a month. I paid through the nose for those weekends. Hell yeah, I did my part-time daddy duty. Kelton called me by my real name, Liam; he called his step-dad Dad.
It didn't bother me. Not really. I mean, it's not like his mom and I ever meant anything to each other. And really, now that he was grown we aren't so different. There was only seventeen years between us.
Okay, long story short. Kelton's mom, who was two years older than I was at the time and busted up from her boyfriend, sort of used me as a rebound pincushion. I was sixteen, what the hell did it matter, right? Hot blonde wanted in my pants, I didn't say no forcefully enough and we had Kelton eight months later. Again, yeah, I know. He was so tiny, just six pounds and his little heart, well, we almost lost him many times those first few months.
After I graduated high school, a little less than a year after he was born, the shit hit the fan. The financial shit, that is. Never mind that I was underage, and seduced, and gay. Did I forget to mention that? Well, I am, now, then, always and forever. And that was why Sabrina Adams used me. She thought I was pretty enough to make Kenny Jones jealous without being a needy hanger on when she was finished with me. Plus there's always that whole challenge thing. I was a challenge. It took three beers and a pair of handcuffs but she got into my pants and it wasn't completely horrible.
Then the little white tube thingy with the blue line came up and my parents—I've never been really sure what my parents thought to be quite honest. Our beautiful faggot son knocked up the Homecoming Queen. We are so proud. Mostly they just looked embarrassed. Relieved a little too, I think. We never really talked about it. We never really talked about anything. Before or since.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Kelton's mom Sabrina and his future stepfather were still estranged at Kelton's first birthday. Kenny had gone into the military and was living on an aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific. He didn't phone home much. He didn't phone her at all. He was pissed she'd let some fag into her panties. Pissed enough that he came after me. Afterward, he was discharged for conduct unbecoming or something like that. I was sort of bigger than him back then. And on the football team. And smarter too.
Not smart enough to keep the local beauty queen at bay. But then we wouldn't have Kelton. And he was a great kid. Sort of smallish and blond like his mother. A beauty just like her. Blond, blue-eyed, long and lean with an infectious smile and a huge heart. He loved everyone. Too easily.
But that wasn't what I was talking about. After I turned eighteen, Sabrina and her family decided I needed to pony up financially. I mean it wasn't as if I hadn't paid my share of the bills, my parents did anyway, and some support for the baby. Sabrina didn't want to deal with the courts. She was eighteen, she bought the beer, and she handcuffed me. She sort of pretended the 'no' and 'not interested' I told her before the beer hit my system didn't apply to her. After I was eighteen, that shyness melted away. He's your kid now pay up. More than that—Sabrina's life was ruined; she can't be a full-time mom, go to school, and work—so pay your share, asshole.
So I paid. I went to work roofing houses during the day and to school at night. I didn't have much time, but I kept those two weekends a month open to play daddy. And I thought I was a good dad. I mean I did my best to be a good dad in the few hours a month I had with him.
When Kelton was four, Kenny came home and it was as if he'd never left. Sabrina jumped back into his arms and, before I knew it, they were married. Of course, that didn't get me off the child support hook. Not that I was angling to, so you know. I wouldn't have thought a thing about it except Kenny decided he wanted to adopt Kelton. Oh, hell, no. He already didn't have my last name; he wasn't getting some other guy's name. But I didn't have to worry, much. Once Kenny found out that by adopting Kelton, I would no longer pay child support that idea went away pretty fast.
In fact, that whole adoption thing nearly tripled the amount of support I was paying. After Sabrina cried prettily for the judge after I challenged the demand for more support. I was in college, busting my ass twenty-four/seven, and living at home with my parents because I was always broke. Always broke. College and some crazy woman I'd let in my pants once owned my wallet. My sister was college age now, and the financial strain on our parents had become visible.
I knew I couldn't go on this way. Back to the Sabrina drama. She was pregnant again and Kenny couldn't find a job. He could find the beer though. Sabrina couldn't handle standing on her feet at the beauty salon anymore. And Kelton needed. He needed everything. I was working and I had a decent scholarship. My parents were well off. Sort of. They were teachers. They had two incomes with a mortgage and two kids in school and well, that was all the judge needed to hear. I was working. I had a scholarship. And my parents still provided me with partial support. I could afford to pay more each month to put a roof over my son's head.
For a moment, the crazy idea to sue for sole custody rippled through my head. He was a great kid, I loved him, but I was a twenty-one year old college student who worked more hours than I should and I'd never had a real relationship in my life. Hell, by then I think my only real sexual relationship had been Sabrina and I was drunk then and didn't remember most of that.
So I paid. And I paid and I worked more and I paid. Then I did something really stupid. But at the time, it saved me.
I stopped thinking about that and tuned back in to the screen sitting patiently in my lap. Not many minutes had passed but the box below Kelton's new relationship status had gone ballistic.

Dude? Seriously? WTF?
Kel, that is so great. Who's the lucky girl?
You mean dude, doncha, Stace? Kel likes dudes.
Since when?
Since like forever, HELLO smell the fabulous.
Come on, guys, cut it out. My dad's gonna be pissed if he sees this.
Why yo dad on yo page man dinn't he throw yo ass out?
Not that dad, fuck no, that dad isn't on here, I mean my real dad.
You have more than one dad? Man, why didn't we know this?
Because he… it's complicated. I don't want him to… guess it's too late for that. Sorry, Liam.
Your dad is named Liam. Like the actor? COOL
And he's HAWT look at his friends list dude that guy can't be your dad.
Shut up ya'll come on. He might see this.
So why would he be pissed? Don't he know you like dick I mean everyone knows that?
Sort of I guess we never really talked about it.
So what's the problem?
The guy. I mean my boyfriend is the problem. Liam is gonna be pissed.
Why? Dude is your dad a major asswipe or something?
No. It's just that I'm sort of dating a porn star.
Fuckin A man
Kel, OMG you're kidding right that is so not good
Shut up Stace and go find someone else to get your girl cooties on, Kel is a stallion
I closed my computer. What could I do? A sick knot of pain twisted in my stomach. Dread and fear arrived late to the party. It was all there. My twenty-one year old son had hooked up with a porn star. Shit. Fuck.
There was only one way he could have managed that.
The same way I did. By being broke, horny, and willing to do anything not to be broke or horny. And gay. Lots of work for a built gay man pretending to be straight. Gay for pay paid the bills. I mean I'd never actually been with a man. I didn't have time for sex. Or the courage to look around. The guys on the job sites would kick my ass if I came on to one of them. I was pretty sure about that. And school. Well, I wasn't exactly your traditional college student, now was I? How many single college guys have kids and lived at home? And I was too tired for the party scene.
At first, I did it just for a little extra cash, so I didn't have to quit school or ask my folks for more help. And then I did it because I liked it. Being on camera. Naked. Balls deep in some guy I'd never see again. Or if I did, it was even better. I knew what he liked and didn't have to work as hard. I liked seeing myself online. I liked the attention and the men who paid to see me fuck loved me.
I stopped working construction and moved out of my parents' house. I finished my undergraduate degree but continued in the business because I liked the money and I wanted to go to graduate school so why not. But the reality of the business and what I wanted were never on the same page. I mean, I was twenty-eight, too old to keep making college flicks. I had to find another gig if I wanted to keep on getting paid. I wasn't ready to go to the heavier sex sites. I wasn't interested in being someone's leather daddy. I’d resigned myself to the idea that I was going to retire but what was supposed to be my last college boy film introduced me to the man I would fall in love with and I ended up changing my whole life around for him.
We moved to California after Seth finished school. We did hardcore videos as a couple. We did everything together for six years before it fell apart. Six years. He was younger than me, by seven years. Just twenty-one when we fucked for the camera the first time. And it was love. Instant, heart pounding love. The cameras caught it. The love, the chemistry whatever the hell it was between us, the cameras loved it. And we loved the attention.
Now my kid, age twenty-one, had found his own porn star. There was only one way that I knew of to hook up with a porn star in Tallahassee. Kelton had bared his ass for some college site.
Just shoot me now.